New Member/PA & Depression

[Nasus]

Hi, I am a new member and am happy to find this place to talk others in similar situations.

My name is Sue and I am a 44 yr old mom of two teens. I was diagnosed with PA in August. My knees simultaneously swelled so bad overnight. I had previous meniscus surgery on them. I thought it was that. Orthopaedic surgeon was stumped. Sent me to Rheumatologist same day. I also had plantar fascitis before. I had high inflammation and fatique. Baby toe joint inflamed and fingers are stiff and sore. I only have minor Psoriasis. Also Carpal Tunnel syndrome is worsened from inflammation. I was on Prednisone and Metho. Now on 8 Methotrexate pills per week and started Humira. Have had 3 shots. The pain and damage has stopped I think.

Does PA make you feel depressed or am I just overwhelmed about this disease?

Please share.

[vshorter]

Hi Sue, welcome to the boards. Sorry for the reason that you are here. I am 47 yrs old and my two children are a little older than yours (in their 20's). I'm glad that the MTX and Humira seem to be working for you right now. As you take them longer, they should work even better.

You also asked:

Does PA make you feel depressed or am I just overwhelmed about this disease?

The answer is Yes and Yes. Learning that you have a chronic illness that does not have a cure, can in itself cause one to be depressed. But mostly I think it comes from the day in - day out living with the pain and having to accept the limitations of things we can no longer do. This can create feelings of being overwhelmed in the beginning that can lead to depression. I know I felt that way.

If you do think you may be depressed, there is treatment that can help and you should defenitely let your rhuemy know about it. Treatment can help your overall treatment plan to help you get back to as close to your normal self as possible.

Please keep posting Sue and let us know how you are doing. This is a great place to let out your frustrations or just come for a shoulder to cry on. You'll also learn a lot about treatment options and new things coming down the pike.

Hope this helped. Take care -
Vicki

[janelee]

I can't help you very much. I actually suffered from depression before the PA came along and have been on meds for 7 or 8 years. However...I do know that PA can make you very tired. Perhaps the initial diagnosis and being tired has just gotten you down. If you don't get to feeling better soon....I would ask the doctor about it. Actually....I believe I read somewhere that Enbrel is now being used for depression as well as PA. If that is the case....I would love to go off my antidepressants.

Here is the link....
http://health.msn.com/centers/mental...ntid=100120735

[JesseLou]

PA can make you feel tired and rundown when you're in a flare, and that can make you feel out of control and therefore depressed.

PA meds tend to make you feel more tired and sometimes even sick, and being more or less forced to lie on the couch a couple of days a week is also depressing.

But there is a longer term, more pervasive kind of depression that for me comes from the realization that I have a chronic illness, that the medications I have to take in order to have a functional life can have terrible side effects, that I must get blood tests and cortisone shots and see a specialist on a regular basis, and that I will never again wear a pair of 4 inch heels (actually, though I envy every single woman who wears these shoes like sneakers, I never did: I just want to now that I have arthritis!) - etc ad nauseum.

I can tell you that it does get better, really. Taking more medication becomes second nature, as do the other things, like going to the doctor more often. It helps a lot to have things to do that take you out of yourself - for me it is painting and printmaking, for some here it is music, and for others it is quilting and scrapbooking, or cooking and being with their families. Whatever takes your mind off PA, go do it!

[CJ-888]

Hi Sue,
Nice to meet you. Sorry you're not feeling well. And Yep, depression seems to be big part of this condition. And PA can be very overwelming, and hard to find answers. And of course that just makes things worse. I realized lately, I must find ways to relax. And I have to take things one day at a time. Trying to figure this condition out all at once, will just drive you nuts.

Welcome to the boards. This is the a great place to find understanding.

take care,
chriS

[janelee]

My son has suffered from depression most of his life. He is bipolar. Just a few things that have helped us are listed below:

1. Decorate for the season. Get your bunnies and chicks out! Oh...and some pretty flowers too!!

2. Let some natural sun light in. As much as you like to cuddle up in a blanket in a dark house.....it is depressing.

3. When it is warmer outside....take a little walk. Even if your joints hurt....at least go sit in the sun.

4. Try doing one thing that you do every day...just a little bit different. My son was in the hospital one time and they actually had them brush their teeth with the opposite hand.

5. Try to think positive. It is so hard sometimes. I actually have to turn the news off sometimes. I don't want to hear negative every day.

I hope these things help a little bit. I seem to feel better in the summer when it is warmer outside. So I am looking forward to some sun. Actually...I live in Texas and Sunday was 90 degrees!!! I could not belive it!

[tmartha]

Welcome, Sue. These folks have put it very well, the way the complications of PA can spiral into depression.

Remember that there's being overwhelmed for a while, and then there's depression that won't go away, two different things, that maybe start out the same way. Many things can help (getting outside a little every day, turning off the news, etc., like janelee said), but sometimes a person needs therapy and maybe meds to tip the scales all the way to wellness. And there is no weakness in seeking help - only strength. (Had postpartum depression and it was awful - and I made it so much worse by not accepting it, thinking I had to try to tough it out, feeling guilty for my family that I had it, etc. etc. etc.) There are so many resources out there, but one of the insidious things about depression is that it wants to keep us from seeking that help. It wants us to keep turning inward and inward again, more and more to our unhealthy self.

Since I've had depression before, when I finally accepted my PA diagnosis this winter and was concerned about the potential for depression, I made a point to tell my husband and my best friend (and some here! ) that if I get to where I am depressed again, I will go to therapy AND try meds. (First time I did one, last time I did the other. Why not go for a one-two punch?) The reason I told them about it NOW, when I've been doing fine, is so that if I start the slow spiral down again (oh I hope not) they will remind me of my own convictions about the need to treat it seriously.

(Isn't that proactive of me? This is a change in the last few months - one good thing I can say is because of this disease - I dislike it so much that I have learned to advocate for myself much better - I will not let it beat me! AND you folks here have helped with that immensely, thanks again from the bottom of my heart.)

The thing is, depression is such a thief. It sneaks in and robs you of your energy, your way of thinking, your ability to connect with family and friends, your social life - it colors all of your perceptions. It does not just go away. If anyone out there is suffering with this, please, get help! It starts with just a phone call. I know, it's a hard one, but the people who love you don't want you to suffer. You would want them to get help if they were suffering that way.

Well, I'm feeling like I've shared a bit much, but this is a subject that hits home. And, it's a real part of PA for many of us, so I'm leaving it. I can never forget the first person who told me their story - it led me to get help, and my beautiful children got their mother back, slowly, I came to enjoy them again - so I share mine.

Welcome again, Sue - I'm not always so serious!
Tani

[Nasus]

Thanks Tani, feel so much better today just talking on this sight with everyone. The responses are wonderful. I had depression once before and I don't think I do now, it just gets to you when you can't do stuff you want. Have a great evening.

Welcome, Sue. These folks have put it very well, the way the complications of PA can spiral into depression.

Remember that there's being overwhelmed for a while, and then there's depression that won't go away, two different things, that maybe start out the same way. Many things can help (getting outside a little every day, turning off the news, etc., like janelee said), but sometimes a person needs therapy and maybe meds to tip the scales all the way to wellness. And there is no weakness in seeking help - only strength. (Had postpartum depression and it was awful - and I made it so much worse by not accepting it, thinking I had to try to tough it out, feeling guilty for my family that I had it, etc. etc. etc.) There are so many resources out there, but one of the insidious things about depression is that it wants to keep us from seeking that help. It wants us to keep turning inward and inward again, more and more to our unhealthy self.

Since I've had depression before, when I finally accepted my PA diagnosis this winter and was concerned about the potential for depression, I made a point to tell my husband and my best friend (and some here! ) that if I get to where I am depressed again, I will go to therapy AND try meds. (First time I did one, last time I did the other. Why not go for a one-two punch?) The reason I told them about it NOW, when I've been doing fine, is so that if I start the slow spiral down again (oh I hope not) they will remind me of my own convictions about the need to treat it seriously.

(Isn't that proactive of me? This is a change in the last few months - one good thing I can say is because of this disease - I dislike it so much that I have learned to advocate for myself much better - I will not let it beat me! AND you folks here have helped with that immensely, thanks again from the bottom of my heart.)

The thing is, depression is such a thief. It sneaks in and robs you of your energy, your way of thinking, your ability to connect with family and friends, your social life - it colors all of your perceptions. It does not just go away. If anyone out there is suffering with this, please, get help! It starts with just a phone call. I know, it's a hard one, but the people who love you don't want you to suffer. You would want them to get help if they were suffering that way.

Well, I'm feeling like I've shared a bit much, but this is a subject that hits home. And, it's a real part of PA for many of us, so I'm leaving it. I can never forget the first person who told me their story - it led me to get help, and my beautiful children got their mother back, slowly, I came to enjoy them again - so I share mine.

Welcome again, Sue - I'm not always so serious!
Tani

[Nasus]

Thank you all for your replys and great support. This message board is my new best friend. Moving from Canada to California was hard and now I feel like I met a bunch of new buddies

[patti2957]

Hi Sue:
So glad you're finding what you need here. I told a friend here once that this community seems like AA, or any other intense support group, that the common bonds we share overcome, or supersede, the differences in our daily lives (age, demographics, interests). At least that is how it's been for me. When I truly need to vent, feel supported or understood, here is the place for me. Not because I don't have a good support network; unlike you, I haven't moved recently (hope you find a good network there). But, nobody understands like another pa-bud. My first couple of posts (back in August) were about relationships, depression, feeling isolated... and they persist at times, even though having this illness, and experiencing it as a wake-up call, has led to dramatic life growth and change. Not to say I won't experience depression again, or that I don't get overwhelmed at least twice a week, but it's better. Thanks for your post and your openness and come back often!!
blessings,
patti

[janelee]

I ditto what Sue said. It is really nice to be able to come to this forum and get great information without people thinking you are just a complainer. I don't talk to people much about my psoriatic arthritis...because they really just don't get it. My husband....God love him....trys to be supportive but really wants me off the meds and wants me to get more exercise. I keep trying to tell him that when my feet stop hurting...I would love to exercise. But...he does not get it. I don't care what anyone thinks...I am doing what the doctor says to do. I don't want to be in a wheelchair!! I don't need anymore damage either. I already have some bone loss in my hip etc. All of you are GREAT....

[GMOM]

Sue, I'm so glad you found this board. When I was diagnosed last year, the folks here helped me understand this stupid disease, and to believe that it is a disease, not a weakness. I always felt like the symptoms were my fault and would get better if I would just "cowgirl up." So many of the aspects of PA cause depression it is a wonder we are not all in bed with covers pulled over our heads! Pain is one of the greatest causes of depression. Then we have the fatigue, also leads to depression. Confusion;fear of the unknown while we try to understand new meds and treatments; learning a new life style to accommodate the PA; comments from people who don't have to live with this danged thing and "just don't get it."; And guilt, guilt, gulit that we can't do all of this while dealing with the routines of living. (God bless those of you who have this and a young family!) It is no wonder that depression slips its ugly head into our lives, too. But on this board, no one is judgemental. Everyone understands and everyone cares. So just pound your thoughts out on the keyboard and know there are people here to listen. Take care of yourself and know you can get control of this thing! God bless,
GMom

[Ihurt]

Thank you all for your replys and great support. This message board is my new best friend. Moving from Canada to California was hard and now I feel like I met a bunch of new buddies

YOU DID!!!!!!!!!

Elaine

[ct69646]

I feel depressed often. I'm pretty sure that I'll be doagnpsed with PA soon. I have a derm appt on monday....

[tmartha]

ct - I sure hope that your derm can get you into a good rheumy, and soon. Does your derm know at all about the joint pain you've been having? If you've already discussed it (or maybe even if not), maybe you could call and get a referral over the phone? It might set things in motion a little bit faster, and every day counts. And please, keep us posted -
Best of luck -
Tani

[crazyme]

I'm glad someone brought up the topic. I, too, am feeling somewhat depressed. I am concerned because I was treated for depression once before and I am really scared it is going to hit me now that I'm dealing with the possibility of having PA. I'm afraid to talk to my hubby about it because I feel like he will think I'm weak. He is a 'tough love' type of person.

I'm having trouble dealing with the fact that something very wrong is going on with my body and I keep wondering if it's something I'm doing vs. Pa... Am I typing too much? Am I not taking enough breaks? Am I slouching or picking up the kids when I shouldn't be? Am I imagining the swelling in my left foot or is it really there? Could I have somehow brought this upon myself? HOW DO I MAKE THIS STOP? I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!! Well, that felt better.

I hope that after I get a firm diagnosis from my Rheumy and I see progress, I will feel like I have more control. Stress is definitely caused by feeling like you don't have control over the situation.

So, are we prone to PA because it is a stress related disease or does the PA cause depression? Hmmm...

Sue, your recent move must be overwhelming. Never fear. You now have a lot more new friends on this post... We can ache together...

[tmartha]

Good to hear from you, Crazyme - just posted on another thread wondering about your rheumy appointment. I really hope it's soon.

You've got a lot on your plate. Make that A TON. No weak person would be able to keep going as you are right now with all that pain.

Best of luck at your rheumatologist appointment, don't forget to bring a list!
Tani

[adamalexa]

Hi Sue, as a 42 yr old mom of a 4 and 7 year old I understand your feelings. I've had PA for 6 yrs. and lived with chronic pain for a long time.

I progressed from Aleve to Celebrex to MTX (on which I felt worse), and finally started Enbrel 3 weeks ago. I feel like a new person. The "rare but serious" side effects scare me, but I've made the decision that I will chance it and opt for living better in the moment and pray for the best. Those Enbrel commercials aren't kidding. I really do have my enthusiasm, energy and all else back! Not until I started living without the chronic pain, did I realized how depressed I really was. Not textbook severe depression, but a dark cloud that hung over everything I did and felt. Some days I felt that I might as well be 100 years old for how rickety I felt. It made me angry that it affected how I was with my kids too.

I hope the Humira works for you and you are feeling great soon!

Lynne

[jojocat]

Even as I type this I am fighting depression hard. I went to bed at 8 last night, but had broken sleep. I was hurting, then the phone rang, then the cats wanted attention. I force myself to go through the motions most days. I haven't done laundry in weeks and I am pretty sure I am wearing my last presentable clothes today. I keep hoping that warm weather will make things better. I take zoloft and am grateful for it.

[janelee]

I hope you all can get some rest this weekend and feel better. I live in Texas and it has been cold the last few days. The sun actually was shining today. I hope it is as nice tomorrow as it was today. That always helps my cheer factor a little bit.

[tmartha]

Hello, Jojocat - sorry I missed your post until now. Have you felt any better this week? Depression is one tough battle to fight. I'm not familiar with your pa story - how long have you had pa?

Your cats - I've never had cats in the house but when I stayed at my aunt's once her cat landed on my head in the middle of the night. !!! Jumped off a window sill. But she's a CAT so I'm sure she SAW me....?! I suppose cats are somewhat nocturnal, aren't they....

I hope you are well - hang in there -
Tani

[MichaelaCFP]

Welcome Sue,

Like you, I was diagnosed last August with PA. I have had severe Psoriasis for many years. It took a very long time (and recovery from Alcoholism) to be able to handle the psychological effects of Psoriasis.

But like you, last August and September were very trying times. I believe the frustration came from the pain and the immobility associated with PA. I hadn't had a drink in many years...and I even informed my Physician that the frustration and the effects of what unknown treatments that I would have to endure had led me to start thinking about trying to "drink the pain away." She was very sympathetic, took me off the 20mg of MTX that I was on at the time and prescribed Enbrel.

She said "hang on." This will work quickly. Well, within two weeks, the pain began subsiding and an additional plus was that my Psoriasis started clearing as well.

Today, seven months later, still no PA pain but the Psoriasis is beginning to come back a bit. With this in mind, I have a new threshold with respect to treatments - try to just stay pain free. My Psoriasis alone is a pain in the ass, but it does not cause significant pain wheras the PA does.

Anyway, the bottom line is: with PA you are entitled to have any dang feelings that you want. Just don't give up and demand to try new things when something doesn't work.

Michael

[Nasus]

Thanks for all your posts. I learned to cowgirl up and don't give a dang about what people think and that we can do what we want especially if we are hurting and tired. (Sleep and do no laundry) And yes drugs are good. If someone doesn't understand this disease or want to then they shouldn't say anything. Wow, don't you just feel great now. At least when the world is caving in every one else on this sight is here to help...

Oh, now I have to get carpal tunnel surgury in May. Oh joy. Just one more thing aggravated by PA. Now I will be a temporary one handed mom who can do everything almost.

Thanks
Sue