Depressed ???

[TopOp]

How dose one know if he/she is depressed or just feels bad, is there a difference?

[misales]

Does anyone really have the "right" answer to that?

I found discussing this issue with my primary care doc went a long ways.

Try it and see what he/she says. They have meds and counseling for this. My HMO paid for the meds and a good chunk of the other.

[DrTee]

I have chronic, major depression. That's my diagnosis. With medication I am a very productive and happy person. Without it I can't function.

I found this questionaire at depression.com. There are also lists of warning signs and symptoms all over the internet. It's not just being blue or sad, it's a very serious disease that needs to be taken seriously.

http://www.depression.com/depression_questionnaire.html

Let me know if you have any questions.

[TopOp]

I don’t feel like ending it all, but I do feel very crappy with this phucken p especially in the summer time when I have to wear socks and it’s 90 degree outside

[grannyfranny]

How dose one know if he/she is depressed or just feels bad, is there a difference?

both----
I am depressed and take medication. As if p isn't enough I feel bad because of all the meds that I have tried for p. They all make me sick and then p gets worse. Then there are other problems that I won't go into.

If anyone thinks they are suffering from depression-please talk to your doc and get help.

[Nanicker]

I've struggled with bouts of depression since I was a teenager. When I'm depressed, I lose weight because I'm not hungry. I have a hard time staying asleep too. When I'm depressed I think everyone hates me and I'm worthless and ugly. When I'm depressed, what other people think about me is a hobby. When I'm not depressed I don't feel like that.

When I go back on Celexa or Zoloft, within 2 weeks I no longer think I'm dying and that I'm worthless. It's all chemical for me. I've figured that out after being in therapy and on and off drugs for years. I come from a long line of depressives. My grandpa committed suicide before I was born. Who knows? Maybe he was the one with all the funky skin issues too, he didn't raise my mom so we don't know too much about him.

Nancy

[TopOp]

.I wander if we'd feel like pig in **** if we didn’t have p, or is there always something else to feel crappy about?

[DrTee]

There are different types, forms, and degrees of depression. Mine pre-dates psoriasis and really has nothing to do with anything going on in my life. Purely chemical. And while some people can't eat, when I'm depressed I gain weight. Some can't sleep, some sleep too much.

If your feelings persist for a more than a few weeks, your life becomes disrupted (you withdraw from friends and family, can't work, or especially think of suicide), get help. Help is out there and you can feel good again.

[Nanicker]

.I wander if we'd feel like pig in **** if we didn’t have p, or is there always something else to feel crappy about?

I think I'm one of those who'd always find something to feel crappy about, I'm just wired funny. I've never really let my skin problems bother me too much at least on the surface, it was just part of who I was. When I was younger, I played fast pitch softball, was a cheerleader and always had boyfriends even though I broke out horribly sometimes and none of them ever freaked about it. I did smoke, drink and take alot of amphetemines as a teenager/young adult so maybe I was just too wasted to care.

[Sweetone]

Over the last two yrs, I have withdrawn from the world. I know I am very depressed but dont know if I want to go on any meds at this point. You wouldnt know it from seeing me at work because I am always the "clown"

I cant blame everything on P, But i know that it has held me back in the sense of a social scene. I do try to snap myself out of it Because I know its an angry circle, P thrives on Depression and I am sure makes it worse.

I may talk to someone in the near future about the things that I think or feel
I know its NOT healthy to go thru life feelings this way.

Thanks for the ear

[DrTee]

I can't tell you how meds helped me. They have literally saved my life and given me "me" back.

As someone already noted,when you have the right meds at the right dose, you don't feel at all medicated. You just feel like you should feel. You feel like yourself--maybe for the first time ever.

Don't think of medications as a weakness. I think it's just a sign of intelligence to avail yourself of whatever remedies are out there.

[mer1973]

I know I'm depressed when I'm exhausted all the time and do nothing but sleep when I'm not at work. I took Zoloft for a couple of years to help with the depression and small anxiety attacks that I began having.

That said.....I finally decided to take matters into my own hands and get out of the funk I was in. I made a conscious effort to do more when people asked. I put myself on a schedule and took up an old hobby (knitting). It has been almost a year and I have been doing great. My p was at it's worst and I had a really tough time getting out in public, but I did it.

I know everyone is different, but I am a firm believer of mind over matter. If you think you can do something and if you put your mind to it, you can. I am still working up the nerve to date again, but hey, you can only take one step at a time!

When things look really bad, there always is a light at the end of that tunnel. You just have to force yourself to get to that light.

[DrTee]

I'm glad you are doing well, but to suggest that it is all mind over matter is a bit insulting to anyone who has an illness and uses medical treatment. And I think that attitude is what keeps so many from seeking treatment. I've seen too many suicides by people who thought they should be "stronger" or able to "snap out" of depression. That idea just made them feel even worse about themselves, feeling guilty for their own illness.

There are different degrees of depression. Some mild depressions do respond to distraction, physical activity, or just the passing of time. But some have to be treated.

[misales]

Theres a good article in the newest Psoriasis Advance about Depression. Might be a good read.

[grannyfranny]

DrTee is right. I wouldn't be here today if not for my med. When it a chemical problem--a person needs help.

[SandraJean]

I agree with Granny and Dr. Tee. If you have a chemical inbalance you really do need the medications to help you function on a daily basis. Please don't ignor any signs and talk with your doctor to get any help.

Sandy

[dan_2004]

Depression should never be minamized or be equated with feeling crappy or blue. There is a very rel difference. Depresion, true depression, if left untreated is a very dangerous disease. If you feel you may be depressed. get help. and by no means let anyone tell you it is mind over matter and just snap out of it. I have never suffered from it myself but recognize it to be real. as real as P. A chemical imbalance is not your fault. You can be a well person if treated correctly. I for one will keep you in my prayers. Prayers are real healing medicine as well!!

[vini68]

Hi
Nobody suffers depression because of a choice . or because one is weak . depression is a disease , is unbalance of chemicals . and there is a treatment for that .
one of the problem that keep depressed people from seeking help is the acceptance . there is nothing wrong to be depressed . we can't mix depression with mood or state of mind . depression usually is continuous and involuntary . while mood changes day by day , like our regular ups and downs .
but , when depression starts bothering and afecting other sides of the life , it's time to check it out. it could be unbalance of chemicals in the brain , body , whatever .
it's possible to feel good again with the help of a treatment .

when depression is a disease , one can not control it just by will power .
it needs some help . that 's when the medication comes to work .

they say bach flowers therapy is good for many aspects of psychological feelings such as depression and anxiety .

i've never used . i'm willing to try one day .
we can have a self diagnostic .. to see what flower essences would be recommended to our case .
check it out ..
http://www.bachessences.com/index_files/main/en/remedychooser.shtml

regarding the first question :
a dosage will be prescribed by the doctor . however , one medication might not work good in everybody . we need to talk to the doctor exactly how we feel . if good or not . because if the medication is not the right one , it might work on the oposite . and the doctor will not know , unless we speak ...
there is always an substitute for the one prescribed.
it takes time to find the right and good one .

take care
vinny

[docmks]

This is such an important topic and question that I wanted to respond even though I am basically echoing what many of you have already said. If you even suspect you might be depressed, get checked out. I have suffered from and been treated for major depression on and off for quite sometime. In my case, years of working in a high stress situation caused me to just get exhausted, and all of the good chemicals (neurochemical transmitters) just got completely depleted. Depression also does tend to run in families as well. It is just so important that you get help from a qualified person. I still see a counselor who is also an RN and she works with a psychiatrist who is an expert on neuropharmacology. It helps tremendously to have someone to talk to, particularly in light of the added stresses of having P and PA. There are so many good medications right now, and it's not one size fits all, either. It's an individual fit--which medicine will be right for you --and sometimes you have to work a bit to find the right one. The different meds vary in several ways including which neurochemical transmitters that work on and in what proportions. The medications and our knowledge of how they work have come a long way.

[mer1973]

I'm glad you are doing well, but to suggest that it is all mind over matter is a bit insulting to anyone who has an illness and uses medical treatment. And I think that attitude is what keeps so many from seeking treatment. I've seen too many suicides by people who thought they should be "stronger" or able to "snap out" of depression. That idea just made them feel even worse about themselves, feeling guilty for their own illness.

There are different degrees of depression. Some mild depressions do respond to distraction, physical activity, or just the passing of time. But some have to be treated.


By no means was I minimalizing depression. I am a depressed person and have been on meds for it. My father is bi-polar and it runs in my family. My sister is manic depressive as well. I did not suggest that it is all mind over matter. I was speaking for myself (as my post suggested). I took matters into my own hands and forced myself to come out of my depression. Occasionally, I slip back into depression and I fight to get out of it. I plainly stated that all people are different - this is what has worked for me.

[psiicophish]

Is there a difference between just feeling bad and being depressed? For me I think it's one and the same it's such a constant. This isn't a P thing for me, I was a mess long before I got diagnosed with P, but the P hasn't helped any. I'd get help but I have no faith in words which is all a psychologist can give me and I won't take mind altering drugs which to me is every drug that fixes a chemical imbalance. I'd rather be sad and be me. I think the people around me would prefer I got some help, but if hearing me say "The usual, crap" everytime they ask how I am bothers them they are welcome to stop asking, I won't miss it any.

Everyone has to decide what's best for themselves however, if your depression is that bad, get some help. I'm just mopey all the time usually, I never think about suicide, but I do think about going camping somewhere way out in the bush for a couple of years so I no longer have to talk to anyone. I'd be alive, but no one would know it, lol. If suicide is on your mind, get help. Only you can answer to how depressed you really are.

[misales]

Well if you've got a wife and kids and others that depend upon you, which in my case was true, it is important to fulfill your responsibilitys.

You can run around depressed or ****** off or whatever you are at the moment, however, they....not you....depend on your performance.

I think if it was just me it would be a different story. But the others in my life deserve better.

[DrTee]

Is there a difference between just feeling bad and being depressed? For me I think it's one and the same it's such a constant. This isn't a P thing for me, I was a mess long before I got diagnosed with P, but the P hasn't helped any. I'd get help but I have no faith in words which is all a psychologist can give me and I won't take mind altering drugs which to me is every drug that fixes a chemical imbalance. I'd rather be sad and be me. I think the people around me would prefer I got some help, but if hearing me say "The usual, crap" everytime they ask how I am bothers them they are welcome to stop asking, I won't miss it any.

Everyone has to decide what's best for themselves however, if your depression is that bad, get some help. I'm just mopey all the time usually, I never think about suicide, but I do think about going camping somewhere way out in the bush for a couple of years so I no longer have to talk to anyone. I'd be alive, but no one would know it, lol. If suicide is on your mind, get help. Only you can answer to how depressed you really are.


If you had a brain tumor, I guess you'd do nothing about that too. These mind altering drugs make your mind work better. When you're on the meds, if they're the right ones at the right dose, you become more you than you've ever been before. You're not you now, you're the illness. I wonder why you seek help for psoriasis but not for another (and potentially more serious) illness.

I've been like you, just miserable, with no sense that I could ever feel any different. The difference between us is that I didn't give up looking for help, and I finally found it with my wonderful psychiatrist.

I know I'm being rough on you, but as I said, I've been there. My thinking was so distorted by the depression I didn't know who I really was. I always just assumed I was like Pooh's friend Eeyore, always seeing the dark side. I'm no Tigger now, but I'm so much happier, people seek my company, and I just feel like I've discovered myself. Don't wait till you're almost 50 like I did to find out that happiness or at least contentment is possible.

[grannyfranny]

Hi psiicophish,
I have been reading your posts for some time now. I think I know how you feel. Living with depression is like living in the dark. Taking medicine for it is OK, it's not exactly messing with your brain, just makes it work better. I wish you would talk to your primary care doctor and tell him/her how you feel. I think you could help all your problems by taking that first step. With some help with depression you would feel more like work on the psoriasis. Are you using any treatment for p at all? I am 65 years old and am constantly picking myself up, brushing myself off and starting all over again--wasn't that in a song or something? :)
It's sort of like renewing a book from the library so you can keep it longer. Gotta keep these bodies tuned up.
With some help you can turn on the light and start living again. I wish you well and hope you feel better soon.

[psiicophish]

I have no wife or kids. I have parents but they live far away, only one of my siblings lives in the same city as me and I see him once a month or so. Besides my cat and fish no one depends on me. I have friends but rarely go out with them, it's just the people at work who have to put up with me. You know how it is, everyone who sees you has to say "Hi, how are you?" I guess I just got tired of lieing and saying "Fine" all the time, now I just tell the truth. Like I said, they don't need to ask, hello would be fine.

As for a brain tumour, I just might do nothing about it, it depends on what the doctor said my chances were. Maybe that's the depression talking but I'm just being honest. I don't seek help for my P besides hanging out here and browsing the threads. I went to the doctor once, he confirmed my own diagnosis that it was P and that was it. I bought my first med a few days ago (Psoriasin) even though I've known I've had P since October or so. The patches have been really bad since last January though, I just never went to a doctor. Why not? They didn't hurt, they weren't spreading and I didn't think whatever it was would kill me. That's just how I was raised, we rarely went to doctors. Break a bone that needs setting or have a heart attack sure, but I've never gone for a cough or flu or deep cut or anything non-life threatening. Even when I broke a toe at 17 I didn't go. They can't do anything with a broken toe anyway, I didn't see the point. I'm not trying to be tough, just practical.

Go ahead, be rough on me, I don't mind. I usually pretty rough on myself anyway.

Those drugs do mess with your brain, if they didn't they wouldn't have any effect now would they? My big problem with them is you get stuck on them. I don't want to be dependant on drugs to be happy, it just feels wrong. I'll either work things out on my own or I won't, it's not that big a deal. There's a guy I listen to on the radio from time to time, he's an ex-addict, he's been addicted to pretty much everything at some point. Now he does a show about addictions. He's often done shows on the happy drugs you see advertised on TV all the time and about how it isn't all sunshine and roses. Getting off those drugs is an ordeal in itself. I really don't need to be an addict too, being what I am is bad enough.

I don't have a primary care doctor. I go so rarely that I don't have a family doctor, I just go to walk in clinics when I need to go. In the past ten years that's been two visits. Once for psoriasis and once for a numb hand, turned out to be a pinched nerve that I didn't do anything about because once again, didn't hurt and wouldn't kill me. It cleared up on it's own after 6 months or so. From what I've been hearing in the media I couldn't get a family doctor now anyway around here, they aren't accepting new patients anymore.

My biggest problem is lack of faith. I don't mean in god, I mean in humanity. The world depresses me. I can't go out into public without seeing someone do something jerk-like to someone else. I can't read the paper, I can't watch the news. I tired reading Chciken Soup for the Soul books but put the book down and look out the window and watch someone cut someone else off in traffic. I'm just sick of it. Sure, there are good people, great people even, I know that. But for every one of them there are 10 selfish jerks. My friends cheat on their spouses in front of me (see why I don't go out much?) and expect me to be quiet about it. People at work steal. My upstairs neighbor makes extra noise when he knows I am home because I once asked him to keep it down. I want to go camping for a while, deep in the woods, far from anyone. I'm happiest when I'm alone and don't have outside influences intruding on my thoughts. I'm not sure I'm even depressed, just cynical about the world and people in general. I'm tired is what I am.

Anyway, enough about me, I'm hijacking this thread with my ramblings. Sorry TopOp.

[grannyfranny]

Hi psiicophish,
I just wrote what I did because I wanted you to feel better about things. I know what you mean about humanity. People are rude, selfish and arrogrant. I have also felt like going out and living alone---but I'm scared in the dark :p
There are women and men that a faithful to their companions. You just have to look for them. I have found that in the last few years I don't seek out friends as much as I used to-maybe that's from getting older and being content.
I wish you well and if you do decide to talk to someone--there are a lot of good people here to talk to.
Granny

[mintona]

Hi all
Ive had bad depression the last few weeks, P getting increasingly bad,and no matter what i do it does not help,i just dont feel like i have the life long energy to keep on battling everyday with this, takes to much effort to keep going .i live on my own to and i spend most weekends on my own just milling around and sitting there night after night talking to no one really is also doing my head totally in.
Perhaps it the effect of P and being on my own for most days and nights ,I have treid to be happy with my lot but i just cant seem to get with it and the only time im not thinking about things is when i sleep, seems to be the best thing at this time, Im not going to anything stupid that i know but well you just have to carry on and hope things get better,
all the best
Andrew

[kkellogg]

Hi Andrew:

I know how lonely this disease can make you feel. Please know that we are all here for you. What are you doing now to treat your p? Maybe it's time for a new derm or some new treatments? Please keep us posted. Hang in there.

Krista

[TopOp]

psiicophish, guess that's life
I kind of see things the way you do about popping pills. My dr. prescribed some uppers or downers, I didn’t take any, it depressed me that I needed pills to make me feel right, I also avoided MTX for years till I couldn't take this disease (P)any more but I gave in , I guess I would give into medication for depression if it came to that point that I couldn’t cope anymore, so I suggest to anyone try it (medication) , it might do a lot of good . hope I make since.




__________________________________________________ ___________

A healty person wants everything, ill only onething.

[DrTee]

Antidepressants are not addictive. Most people who take antidepressants do so only for a few weeks or months and have no problems getting off.

To me it seems stupid not to get help when you need it. If my arm was broken, I'd have it put in a cast. If I have an infection, I'd take antibiotics. I call that intelligence, not weakness.

If you want to be miserable, that's your business, but you should make that choice with correct information.

[jgirl]

Well, I'm not a doctor, but I do have first hand experience with depression - not myself really, nothing clinical anyway - my mother had it though, so perhaps I'm pre-disposed, but I think I've figured out how to stave it off, despite all the stress and traumas I do and have gone through...

Here are some ideas to perhaps try for mild depression or maybe in conjunction with meds for severe - they worked for me...although I don't use pharmaceuticals at all for this...

I work out a lot and I have read many times that exercise can be as effective as antidepressants, might be something to google or check out in the library - I know this works for me, endorphins can be quite powerful...also refraining from sugar and white flour, there is a good book on this called "the Sugar Blues"...I also take St. John's wart (an herbal remedy for down moods) when the sun is gone too long (like this year with the rains here in Cali) -maybe check with your doc for complications, but there is a TON of research in the positive on the effectiveness of this herb. I also find that helping out another makes me feel good and forget about my own problems for a minute...one time I was depressed about a guy who was not treating me well so I went downtown and placed food and dollar bills by some homeless people who were sleeping so they would find it in the morning ...sort of a random act of kindness, I guess, it actually did cheer me up, for some reason...and helped me move on...when all else fails, perhaps you could turn to God too, I did this a few years back when I hit rock bottom (at that poiny, yes I was depressed) and it changed my life...I am so blessed now...

I think we all have a purpose in life, and that we are all worthy of love. Yes, undoubtedly, there is much evil and trauma in this life but I also know that what we concentrate on, grows. I try to stay focused on the positive, perhaps then it will manifest more of itself.

P.S. For the umpteenth time, I recommend Lousie Hays "You Can Heal Your Life" It's just a great book, for boththe physical and mental.

P.P.S. I've also heard that depression is really just supressed emotion...usually anger...I think its important to find a healthy outlet for this, whether it be the arts, screaming in your car where no one can hear, or just beating a pillow, something that won't harm others but still gets the emotion "unstuck" ...course you could always meditate and just dissolve the anger by focusing on gratitude instead...

People used to ask me how I got so into dancing( I used to teach and perform it professionally) My deadpan response was "well, it was either that or hard narcotics"...that always got a laugh, and I'd smile, but really, I wasn't kidding. In my early 20's I channeled all my grief and rage into this artform. I became one heck of a dancer. Through expression, I learned to focus on love, what matters most. When it didn't serve me anymore I did yoga instead. which is what I do now.

[misales]

Well, I'm not a doctor, but

Here are some ideas to perhaps try for mild depression or maybe in conjunction with meds for severe - they worked for me...

I work out a lot and I have read many times that exercise can be as effective as antidepressants, might be something to google or check out in the library - I know this works for me, endorphins can be quite powerful.

Well Jgirl, let me help you a little. My internist, a younger D.O. has said the exact same thing on a number of occasions regarding excercise, so as far as that statement goes I'd say you're on the right track.

I suppose if one has more questions, ask your doctor, they know a lot about depression but from my experience, IF YOU DON'T ASK THEM ABOUT IT, THEY MOST LIKELY WON'T TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

I once, prior to getting antidepressants asked my doc for some uppers. He told me I would have to get them off the streets because doctors couldn't prescribe them.... Sure, I'll just see if I can sign some out of the evidence room doc, i'm sure the Chief won't mind. I thought it was sort of funny.

[ARL]

jgirl,,,, I agree with your whole approach on depression,,, ;)

psiicophish,,,, I wish I lived near you,,,,trust me I'd get you out of this feeling,,,,and we sure would have some good laughs doing it,,,,you do make alot of true points,,,,but your first step is ,,,don't look at the negative side try and be positive,,,,i'm not sure whether your female or male,,,,either way we need to get you to fall in love,,,dance,,,have fun,,,get out ,,,say the hell with everyone,,,live for yourself,,,be around happy people,,strong people,,,everything will work out,,,ask jgirl for some things you can take that are natural,,,eating good healthy food...... Don't be around people that pull you down,,,,Don't watch any sad movies or sad songs,,,try and avoid these things while your feeling like this...... See getting these feeliings out is important,,,, So that's your first step,,,,try conversations,,,,constant reading about sickness is depressing,,,,sometimes reading and thinking about illnesses make matters worse,,,,truthfully,,,I take care of my P,,,moisturize,,,and than forget about it,,,I'm only saying what works for me,,,plus I talk alot,,,as you see,,,,I also joke alot,,,and you know what,,,,,I really don't care what people think reg. me joking,,,, AND SAYING i ACT LIKE A KID,,, well truthfully,,i'm 57 and don't feel it or look it,,,why cause I laugh and dance,,,when music comes on the tv or radio,,,I just start dancing,,,even with my pj's on,,,( not so sexy)my words to them are lighten up ,,be happy and laugh & dance & sing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't like Dr's either,,I try things myself,,,but listen,,,try baking soda & pure olive oil,,, bath soaks and than moisturize with Pure Coconut oil.... And please try and laugh more,,,this is so important for your liver,,,honestly,,,laughter activates the chemicals in your body,,, in your system and this helps depression,,,, GOOD LUCK!!!!!

PS,,,YA WANNA GO OUT DANCING!!!!!!! LOL,, TOPop,,YOU CAN COME ALSO!

[Nanicker]

I've worked out consistantly since I was a teenager (I was an athlete). I've worked out through all my pregancies and I've continued to work out while depressed. I've tried meditating, I've tried prayer. I've tried fish oils, I've tried chinese accupuncture. I've been to shrinks and I've been to therapists. I've quit coffee and I've gone vegetarian. This last depression lasted over 5 months of me trying mind over matter. I even called a Christian Science Practicioner (I was raised in that religion but have since become an agnostic Unitarian). I even tried at one point to do the old Born Again Christian route (made me even more depressed quite frankly). I've tried taking trips and joining 12 step groups.

Here's the bottom line for me: After trying all these things for over 5 months, I finally gave up and went back on Celexa. It was hard for me because dammit, I was going to kick my depression without chemicals this time EVEN IF IT KILLED ME! and you know what? It almost did. I got to the point where I didn't care if I lived or died. I wanted pack up all my belongings and just disappear because my children didn't need a mother like that and I was positive that everyone hated me including my dh. I got my butt back into therapy and with her gentle encouragement and my husband's I took the damn pills and guess what? In 2 weeks I was a totally normal, functioning human being again. 2 weeks! I suffered tremendously for 5 months for nothing.

If you can exercise and do mind over matter that's great. It didn't work for me.

[grannyfranny]

I think it takes a combination of things to overcome depression. Just knowing that you are depressed is a start. A good doctor comes next to help sort out what kind of depression it is and what is the best med or approach to take to overcome it for each person. I take an old-old medication that works great for me. Imipramine-I never go to bed without taking it!!!!!! :)
I have a chemical imbalance and until they know what that is--I'm taking my pills, laughing, talking and turning on lights on dreary days.
As far as being a "born again Christian"---you have to be serious about that all the time. Not just try it--it's a feeling-emotionally and intellectually-and desire to know God.

[Nanicker]

<<As far as being a "born again Christian"---you have to be serious about that all the time. Not just try it--it's a feeling-emotionally and intellectually-and desire to know God.>>

I attempted the lifestyle for 8 years. I wanted to be a believer, I really did. I got born again and again. I prayed and prayed and went to Bible study after Bible study. Then I found out that Christianity just isn't for me. I could give you a million reasons why but this isn't the place for a religious debate. I apologize for bringing it up.

Peace.

[RichJ]

I've worked out consistantly since I was a teenager (I was an athlete). I've worked out through all my pregancies and I've continued to work out while depressed. I've tried meditating, I've tried prayer. I've tried fish oils, I've tried chinese accupuncture. I've been to shrinks and I've been to therapists. I've quit coffee and I've gone vegetarian. This last depression lasted over 5 months of me trying mind over matter. I even called a Christian Science Practicioner (I was raised in that religion but have since become an agnostic Unitarian). I even tried at one point to do the old Born Again Christian route (made me even more depressed quite frankly). I've tried taking trips and joining 12 step groups.

Here's the bottom line for me: After trying all these things for over 5 months, I finally gave up and went back on Celexa. It was hard for me because dammit, I was going to kick my depression without chemicals this time EVEN IF IT KILLED ME! and you know what? It almost did. I got to the point where I didn't care if I lived or died. I wanted pack up all my belongings and just disappear because my children didn't need a mother like that and I was positive that everyone hated me including my dh. I got my butt back into therapy and with her gentle encouragement and my husband's I took the damn pills and guess what? In 2 weeks I was a totally normal, functioning human being again. 2 weeks! I suffered tremendously for 5 months for nothing.

If you can exercise and do mind over matter that's great. It didn't work for me.
hi Nanicker
i agree with you on that. what works for one might not work for some one else. you have to do what you think is right for you. every one life is diferent. we all have different familys. some can drive you nuts and some don't. you can try what my sister does and jogs 5 miles in the moring and 10 miles at night after work. she won't to be healty and live to 90. to bad she is never around for her family.

have a good night all

richard

[misales]

hmmmm.....interesting that you promote antidepressants with your user title: living better WITHOUT pharmaceuticals...see the light! :p

Kim unless you want to subscribe to the leaky gut / psoriasis theory for my protonix and or join the masses that believe that an antidepressant will aid with plaque psoriasis. The statement is pretty much true. Ultraviolet light is not ingested not dispensed at a pharmacy.

I had banana.com up there, I thought it was funny but someone else didn't and it got da boot.

I should be off the anti-depressant pretty soon, I'm adjusted back pretty well now and I actually do think that leaky gut played a role in my P, but I think as a trigger only. I think to undo that I'd need to look into some time travel. Whats been done in the gut has been done.

[grannyfranny]

<<As far as being a "born again Christian"---you have to be serious about that all the time. Not just try it--it's a feeling-emotionally and intellectually-and desire to know God.>>

I attempted the lifestyle for 8 years. I wanted to be a believer, I really did. I got born again and again. I prayed and prayed and went to Bible study after Bible study. Then I found out that Christianity just isn't for me. I could give you a million reasons why but this isn't the place for a religious debate. I apologize for bringing it up.

Peace.
Peace and love to you, also.

[psiicophish]

Oh my, lots of stuff here.

Exercise. I don't drive, I walk to work everyday, about 25 minutes each way. I'm a 34 year old male, 5'10" and 180lbs, pretty much just where I should be. I don't work out, but I do ride my bike in the summer a lot, not for exercise, just for fun, but it does keep me in shape. I don't feel any better in the summer then winter though.

God. I was raised a Catholic. Sort of, I went to Catholic school, my parents weren't practicing at home though. It's just not for me, the way my mind works I'm incapable of believing in God. I'm open to the possibility, but unless someone can prove it I can't believe. I'm like that with everything.

Healthy food. I could use some work there for sure, lol. I don't have a weight problem and I physically feel good so I never worried much about diet.

Conversation. I'm sick of talking about things. For one, it keeps those bad thoughts in the forefront and for another, it's just words. Words don't do anything. They won't change the world, not even my small corner of it.

An outlet. I used to play electric guitar, real angry heavy metal stuff. Great way to get out frustration. I haven't owned a guitar in about 10 years now though, I keep saying I'll get a new one but there's so many other toys to have, lol. I have two major distractions right now, one is my aquariums and the other is playing paintball. I like the tanks for relaxation and I like the paintball for being shot at. I like the adrenaline rush from being fired at. It hurts when they hit you, not much, just a sting but it's enough to make you not want to be hit. I don't care if I don't shoot another player all day, I like getting into jams where I'm pinned down and can't move. I sit there and laugh. Can't afford to play more then once a month though so that's no good. My aquariums are there everyday though, I spend a lot of time just watching my critters. One is a reef tank so it has a lot of varied life in there to watch. But I have to go out and work sometime.

Fall in love. Not gonna happen. And if it did, it won't last. I get bored of things quickly, and people are no different. No matter how much I thought someone was "the one" in 6-8 months I was bored. I gave up after the last one, I've been single now about 7 years, haven't even dated, don't fool around with anyone. I can usually tell after an hour talking to a woman that I'll be tired of her in a few months. Dating someone when I know it will go no where is lieing and disrespectful in my opinion, it's using someone for company or sex or money or whatever. I guess I'm just too picky. Perhaps I'll have a friend someday that I realise I can stand l to be with and we'll get married but I can't see me doing the dating game looking for someone, I hated that crap when I was. Then of course there's the problem of finding someone to like me too, lol. That's not the depression talking, that's just fact, everyone who knows me says I'd be an eccentric if only I was rich. Tough to find someone who'll put up with that sort of thing. Most women make faces at their girlfriends soon after meeting me. I'm not good at meeting people either, I hate shaking hands, I don't want to touch strangers at all.

I loathe my job, that may be my biggest problem. I can't quit though, there's nothing else I can do. I was stupid and quit the naval architecture course I took after high school to go find myself. Well, I'm still looking, lol. The only skills I have are in textile screen printing and I won't go back to that, too many chemicals. Today I'm a school night janitor. Bottom of the totem pole in the school board. What I do for a living people assign to children as a punishment. The teachers treat us like servants, they are polite ( usually, lol, I have stories) but they never let you forget they're better than you are. I work evenings starting at 3:30, even if I had the money I couldn't go to school in the day and I can't go at night either. Trapped by poor descision making. And I'm in a wonderful position to watch the next generation getting the wrong life lessons and not learn how to get along in society which of course saddens me too.

I'm not a great person either, I complain about the jerks in the world but I just might be one of them. Of course, that makes the whole thing sadder rather then better. I don't do mean things to people, but I don't go out of my way to do nice things either. I'll hold a door for someone and I say please and thank you but you won't see me volunteering for anything or giving to charity. I just try to stick to myself, when forced to interact with others I try to be nice and that's it.

Believe it or not, I'm mostly okay with how I feel. I complain about things a lot, but that's me, it's who I am. I'm okay with that, it's everyone else who wants me to change. It's true that I don't feel happy much but I don't feel sad either, mostly just indifferent. I don't think about the crap so much anymore so I'm just indifferent feeling most of the time, not particularily happy nor sad. Happiness is a choclate chip cookie, because that's about how long it lasts I always say. It comes in small doses and lasts for a little while then moves on until you get another cookie later. I'm sick of the way the world is, but I don't want to be okay with the world, I want the world to be okay with me.

[Gunnyhwy1]

I am 50 years old and have had P for over 25 years. Recently I had switched meds from Raptiva to Enbrel and has a MAJOR flare withdrawl from the Raptiva. I went through about four days of some weird psychological events. I worried about everything, kids, finances, work, etc. I could not get my mind to think of positive things not matter what I did. I have never experienced anything like this before. A friend told me that he had recently went through the same thing. He said his doc told him it was due to medication that affected receptors in his brain. He had to go on anti depressants for over a year before he was better. My episode lasted three days and with no meds or reason, they just went away. It was the worst weirdest mental three days of my life and I hope they don't return!

[ARL]

psii,,,you sure have a name I can't remember,,,, I first want to say you are an intelligent young man and don't ever forget that!!!!!!I guess the most important thing i'm going to answer you is about GOD,,,, if you start doing anything,,,please first,,,try and believe in GOD,,,I'm a Cathoilic,,,,I feel GOD is the most important thing in my life,,,he comes first,,above all,,,WHY BECAUSE WITHOUT GOD WE HAVE NOTHING!!!!! Please I truely believe with all my heart,,I could never have dealt with everything that has happened in my life,,,,, and I won't go into that,,,without the belief in GOD,,,, trust me he will give you love in your heart,,,and you need that kind of love to survive happy....

You sound like a guy that needs some love,,,I hope you really think about things,,,please don't let your gift of being a smart,wise,basically healthy young man be alone and unhappy,,,,share your life,,,it will bring happiness,,,just take one day at a time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reading your reply,,,,well your down in the dumps so to speak,,and only you can change your feeliings...... Besides look at what your writing,,if you really didn't care about anything ,,,you wouldn't even bother with all this,,, and you know what you sound tired of the way your feeling,,,,so cmon,,get going and turn yourself around ;)

I wish alot of you younger people would try and listen to us older ones regarding the reality of life,,,,,same as the way our parents talked with us,,, I listen to people older than me,,life is all about learniing the longer you live the more you learn,,,I personally will take the advice from someone older and wiser,,,,I feel this world today is to fast for some of the younger generations to face!!! A penny full of thoughts,,, lol GOOD LUCK IN WHAT YOU FIND TO FULFILL YOUR LIFE.... :)